Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: the Plott Hound/Doberman mix

Me: the Bernese Mountain Dog (although I hate hiking!)

Hey dude. You were running around with the zoomies and almost spilled my cocktail. What gives, jerk?

You: the energetic Akita

Me: the not so massive Mastiff

Hello, beautiful! We had a moment over by the poop bag trash can. I never caught your name. Call me?

You: the Scottish Deerhound with the tennis ball

Me: the Border Collie who had to pee a lot

You gave me some serious hump me vibes on Tuesday. I think we can turn this into a litter, no?

UAG

Just Wanted To Say...

You can pretty much get away with anything if you rock.

The EADJ Crappinema Presents: Somewhere Tomorrow

Some movies, just by being bad, are a waste of time. But it's pretty unforgivable when a movie intentionally wastes your time. Somewhere Tomorrow is guilty of setting up a storyline, leading you down it, then pulling a switcheroo on you, all to be able to say "Hey! GOTCHA Sport!" then popping its collar and doing the two-handed point click. Director Robert Wiemer masterfully weaves not one, but TWO plot twists into this film, leaving the viewer feeling cheated and gassy. I've never understood the allure of Sarah Jessica Parker to begin with, but after seeing this horribleness, I think I might stop watching anything Matthew Broderick is in now. Wassup now, bitch?




The following is verbatim dialogue for this scene:

Mother: She was real close to her father. Doug had to work long, hard hours, but he always managed to find time for Lori. He just loved her..,just loved her so much.




Doctor: Did this thing start happening, when? At the time of his death?








Mother: I don't know. Maybe it started then...

The Doctor watches her.





(sobs) Listen, I just want to be in there with her!







Doctor: Betty, we have to talk about this. I have a problem, and I don't know how to deal with this. I've got a little girl in there who took a spill off a horse and got a bump on the head. A mild concussion, nothing more. Yet she refuses to wake up.



Doctor: A perfectly healthy 16-year old girl. Who I think wants to die. You've got to help me reach her.

Father: Betty...

Mother: It's all so crazy, I just... I don't know where to start?















The following is verbatim dialogue for this scene:


Sarah Jessica Parker: Polly!


Dude in Blue Shirt: My God, it's a horse!




Sarah Jessica Parker: Polly? Polly! Polly? Polly? Polly is that you?

Dude in Blue Shirt emerges from the woods on the horse.





Sarah Jessica Parker: Polly!


Dude in Blue Shirt: How'd you know her name?





Sarah Jessica Parker: It's you! You're alright!


Dude in Blue Shirt: I guess so, who are you?



Sarah Jessica Parker: I saw your plane go down. I found you and your friend.

Dude in Blue Shirt: The plane, where is it?? Where's Paul, my friend?

Exeunt