Burning Questions For the Micro Maidens

I saw an ad for the Micro Maidens The Showcase burlesque show, featuring an ensemble of 8 dwarf exotic dancers. "The world's only Micro Female Revue – tiny in size, colossal in spectacle!"

Over each of the Micro Maiden's head is their height, I guess to prove that they're dwarfs and not just scrunched down or doing that Dorf thing.

But over one—no, over the tallest—maiden's head, they show she's 4'12". Now, I haven't been in middle school in decades, but isn't 4'12" the same as 5'00"?

I went on their official website to learn more about these Maidens, and there she is—Summer, in her towering glory!

I know some women make fun of men for not being tall enough, and I certainly don't want to be a man picking on Summer for being too tall in a show that promises dwarf dancers, but you can't just change how measurements work so that you can fit in. If you're going to do that, why not just list it as 3'24"?

That means I am 10'-50" tall. I like the sound of that!

A DoorDash Post

Pictured above, The Salad House, "Healthy".

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"I know I'm an unreliable witness, being a moonshine distiller and all, but I did see 'em."

"Would I like to go steady? Charles! I think this is happening too fast! Just yesterday we were almost holding hands on my aunt's front porch!"

"What was that thing called again? It's a fish salad dish... starts with an S or a C... Saville? Saviche? Cravitz?"

"Wow, this documentary kept promising it was longer."

"You called it a hiatus. A hiatus doesn't last 6 years, Leslie!"

"Yes, I am a fashion illustrator. I draw handsome men for magazines. Draw nudes? Where's the money in that?"