Even More Unknown Perks of the AMC Stubs Card

Being a member of the AMC Stubs rewards program already has its benefits, but check out these other fabulous bonuses you can get just by signing up today:

• Free admission for Wookiee sidekicks

• $40 off any single Twix bar

• Free potbellied pig rental with any movie

• Free July 1984 copy of Fangoria

• If Alanis Morisette goes down on you in an AMC theatre, we won't say anything

• You get to sit in the handicapped seat even if you're not handicapped, and actual handicapped people who want the seat can't do anything about it

• No outside food allowed, but Stubs members can sneak in booze (as long as they share)

• Free printout of all Limp Bizkit lyrics

• You can pee anywhere (dine-in theaters excluded)

• For any DCEU movie, you can get your money back in advance

Proof I'm Not Ready To Be A Father Yet

In the latest issue of SkyWest Magazine (??!????!!!???!?!???!!???), I get a chuckle from two ads that put "nutz" and "beaver" next to each other.

Finally, Some Recognition

Spotted in the Fall 2010 issue of Essence Hot Hair (which reminds me– I need to renew my subscription), an article about notable black hair moments in film:


In case you were wondering, "B.A.P.S." came out in 1997, and Essence Hot Hair has only been publishing since October 2010, so this is why "B.A.P.S." hadn't gotten the recognition it deserves in the pantheon of black hair for 13 years. So you can stop the letter writing campaign now.

A Great Tip From Self Magazine

Spotted on the cover of "Self" at Pathmark: a blurb in pink:



"Look Like You Lost 5 Pounds?!"

Is losing five pounds that hard? Shit fucking ballsack. How goddamned lazy do you have to be to be unable to drop five lousy pounds? I lose that after an extended dump. I lose that after skipping a lunch. I lose that after getting off my fat ass and going for a run. Shit, people. "Look like you lost 5 pounds." Self Magazine, instead of encouraging you to eat right or –God forbid– exercise, has helped you craft a way to fool all of your friends into thinking you lost five pounds. They are spinning a web of lies for you from which you cannot escape. One lie leads to another, and soon you're murdering a janitor to use his corpse to fake your own death so that you can move to Mexico and start a new life! Don't read that article!

By the way, nobody notices when you lose only five pounds. Lose ten pounds and then we can talk, fatass.

The Suzemily Players Rehearse, Part 2

Same scene, take 2. If I ever watched Grey's Anatomy, I could understand what the fuck these two are doing.