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The EADJ Holiday Shopping Guide: Which Halle Berry Celebrity Perfume Is Right For You?

So you have to give your girlfriend a Christmas present and think she's too fat and disgusting but want to pretend you're fucking Halle Berry with your eyes closed. Here's a handy holiday guide to navigate the complex world of Halle Berry-endorsed perfume:

Perfume Name: Exotic Jasmine

Halle Berry's hair on the package: Monster's Ball

Contains hints of: jasmine, jasmine extracts, and some bile from Jasmine Guy

Will make your significant other: horny as an iguana in a boot store

Perfume Name: Closer by Halle Berry

Halle Berry's hair on the package: Gothika

Contains hints of: muskellunge, chirashi and sriracha

Will make your significant other: sweat like a hot, wet summertime dumpster

Perfume Name: Wild Essence: Halle Berry

Halle Berry's hair on the package: "Extant" TV series, which I heard started out promising but ended up sucking for some reason

Contains hints of: vanilla bean, horse

Will make your significant other: cheat on you with the guy checking receipts with a highlighter at Home Depot