Task Chair Is Pleased

TASK CHAIR IS PLEASED TO BE FEATURED ON THE BLOG AGAIN AFTER ALMOST THREE YEARS. WHAT TOOK SO LONG.

OH LOOK. A DUTIFUL PEASANT HAS BOUGHT ME AND IN HIS HASTE TO START ON HIS TASKS, ONLY TOOK OUT MY WHEELS BUT REALIZED HE NEEDS ALL OF MY PARTS TO ACHIEVE HIS TASK DREAMS.

THERE YOU GO, PEASANT. DRAG THE REST OF ME AS YOU MARCH TO PRODUCTIVE GLORY. YOUR FIRST TASK IS TO ASSEMBLE TASK CHAIR. THEN THE REST COMES EASY. MAYBE SHOPPING FOR A NEW OUTFIT WILL BE TASK 2.

Task Chair Is Amused

BAHAHAHAHAAHA! TASK CHAIR IS DYING HERE. YOU HAD EVERY CHANCE TO BUY TASK CHAIR TO GET TASKS DONE, BUT THEN LOOK WHAT YOU PUT OUT ON THE CURB THIS MORNING:

 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! WHAT KIND OF WEAK-ASS, NON-ERGONOMIC MEN IN BLACK ROUND BULLSHIT DID YOU JUST PUT IN YOUR HOME OFFICE? THAT SHIT WILL NEVER BE HIGH ENOUGH FOR YOU TO SIT IN A COMFORTABLE POSITION TO WORK. OH, YOU CAN TRY ADJUSTING ITS HEIGHT WITH THAT WEAK ASS LEVER, BUT TRUST TASK CHAIR, YOU'LL BE REACHING UP FOR YOUR LAPTOP LIKE RALPHIE TRYING TO CRAWL BACK TO SANTA ON THAT DEPARTMENT STORE SLIDE. WHICH IF YOU ASK TASK CHAIR LOOKED LIKE A LOT OF FUN BUT I'VE NEVER REALLY SEEN AT ANY SHOPPING MALLS. I GUESS IT WAS JUST FOR THE MOVIE OR WAS AN OLD SANTA CLAUS PRACTICE THAT DIED OUT DURING THAT ERA FOR INSURANCE LIABILITY REASONS. BUT TASK CHAIR DIGRESSES!

OH, POOR NON-TASK CHAIR OWNER. YOU'D BE BETTER OFF SITTING ON THAT CARDBOARD BOX HHAAHHAHAHAH ENJOY YOUR CARPAL TUNNEL AND ACHING LUMBAR. SUCK TASK CHAIR'S DICK!

LOOK OUT, TASK CHAIR. CHORE COAT WILL CHOKE YOU OUT

TAKE A SEAT, TASK CHAIR, CUZ THE GLOVES ARE OFF AND THIS CHORE COAT IS ON.

CHORE COAT HAS NO PATIENCE FOR THIS PUSSY-ASS SITTING AROUND A HOME OFFICE LIKE A SLACKER. PUT ON A COTTON TWILL JACKET AND GET THE FUCK OUTSIDE.

GREAT GOD, LOOK AT YOUR FAT PASTY ASS. YOU NEED TO WALK MORE, SON. GO ON A HIKE. DO SOME ERRANDS ON FOOT. TAKE A FUCKING STROLL AROUND YOUR LOCAL RENOVATED DOWNTOWN AREA. JESUS CHRIST, IF YOUR ASS WERE A PILLOW I'D THROW IT OUT FOR BEING SO FLAT AND USELESS.

OH, DID WORK JUST EMAIL YOU CHANGES TO THE PRESENTATION? FUCK THAT SHIT. GO FOR A WALK AND CLEAR YOUR DUMB HEAD. GET SOME FRESH AIR. LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR SURROUNDINGS. STOP BEING SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE, COWERING SIMP.

CHORE TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN COAT!