An Imagined Conversation

"Hey, where you want to order dinner from?"

"Let's get Chinese from No One."

"No One?"

"Yeah, No One on South Orange Avenue."

"I've never heard of that place."

"Yes you have. We went there after your dentist appointment last month."

"..."

"..."

"Oh shit. You mean NUMBER ONE."

"Huh?"

"The Chinese place is called Number One. They just abbreviated the word "number" as "no."

"Are you sure? I still think it's No One."

"Whatever. I'll call them now."

*phone rings*

"Hello. NOI Chinese restaurant. What is your order?"

Fringe Backdrop

Do you even hear yourself.

Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: the light colored Border Terrier 

Me: the mixed Boxer with the WWE harness

Wassup. You had the zoomies so we didn't get to talk, but you seemed pretty cool and maybe would be down for smoking weed with me sometime?

You: the aggressive Basset Hound 

Me: the Lhasa Apso  

You were extremely rude to everyone with your chew toy, not sharing it and generally being an ass. Who do you think you are? And who even brings their own toy to a dog park? Dick.

You: the Borzoi named Dixon

Me: the hung Beagle

You sniffed my penis. I smelled your butthole. Call me?

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Every so often, Hulu renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Hulu this month:

• The Real Fake Bitches of Wherever

• Game Show: Is This Cake or Cancer?

• Hillbilly Hospital: Mostly Moonshine Still Explosion Injuries

• Footage of Jamiroquai Sleeping

• High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Making Of Documentary: The Cereal

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu is removing from their lineup this month:

• Star Wars: The Origin Story of That 3rd Jawa From The Left

• Flip That Hospice!

• Dirty, Boring Jobs That Don't Play Well On Television

• Prawn Stars

• White-Ish

• MSNBC's Round Table of Perpetual Agreement