Audience 1: Old farts who love reading a lot more than they do playing hide the sausage (or walking the dog for that matter).
Audience 2: Unapproachable Asian woman reading Ayn Rand in a double bed. Her husband has left her, and she doesn't care. She is so misunderstood, just like Howard Roark in THE FOUNTAINHEAD!
Audience 3: Wait. Two questions: 1) Claritin makes pillow protectors? 2) Is that Kristine Johnson from Channel 2 News at 5?
Audience 4: Confident blonde sluts who don't have bugs in their coochie, thanks to sprinkling a little baking soda down there.
