This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Some Santas have laps you'll need to towel off before sitting in.

It's nice that Cardi B decided to go with a more candid shot of her everyday life than an artificially posed shot in a studio.

Good thing they hid that guy's eyes. Way to preserve that person's privacy.

"Well, shit. I told Tamara to meet me in the car at 2pm. I'm giving her ten more minutes in the mall, and then I'm driving away."

Yes. Associate yourself with the good, sane Kanye.

Christmas Rapping? Get it? No?

"I pledge allegiance, to the ants, at the side of the driveway at Hojo."

If there's one thing Illa Ghee doesn't abide, it's sassy backtalk on the Brooklyn Bridge.

And before Trill B knew what happened, the three lesbians made off with his gold chains.

An album cover so boring I'd probably pee elsewhere.

"Goddammit. I told Tamara to meet me at the airport at 4pm. Fine. I'll give her ten minutes till I fly to Cancun without her."

Here Are Your Timesheets For December 22

Hi guyyyyyyz!

Cameron the intern heeeere. ✋ I was asked to send a reminder re: TIME SHEETS 💰 since Judy 🎀 and Hachiro ☯ weren't in the office today!!!!!! So pleez bare with me while I plant a 🔥 under your BUTTS to FILL in YOUR time SHEETS ToDaY, PeOpLe! 🚺 🚹 😁😂😊😉


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Here are the job numbers💰💰💰💰💰✍✍✍✍✍✍✍✍✍💰💰💰💰💰:

23759: Giving a shit

32888: Taking a shit

99314: Cheating results for your "Shark Tank" presentation

80650: Diddling your core

17477: Spacing out on that actor's name

33720: Preparing the stagecoach for the long winter's trip

74284: Cupping Martin Shkreli's balls

08821: Really leaning into the punch when hitting your Dad

765772: Mocking the disabled (Donald Trump only)

10039: Debating the Ninth Doctor Who vs. the Fourth

35772: Remembering that actor's name! Daniel Stern!

63636: Printing your resume on the nice paper at work, leaving it in the printer like a dumbass