Showing posts with label String. Show all posts
Showing posts with label String. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2013

What The "Plus" Means In Many Store Names


Team Trailers Plus
"Plus"  = Truck Nutz and/or Yosemite Sam "Back Off" mudflaps


K&S Curtains Plus
"Plus"  = old lady smell, even though everything in the store is factory-new



United Mileage Plus
"Plus"  = automatic upgrade to any seat TWO rows away from the bathroom rather than ONE



Ville's Clothing Plus
"Plus"  = lint



Juice Bar Plus
"Plus"  = diarrhea that smells vaguely of mango and coconut



Lamps Plus
"Plus"  = more lamps


Wednesday, January 10, 2007

***AN EADJ FIRST: CELEBRITY INTERVIEW!!!!***


(Eat a Dick Joel is proud to present an exclusive interview with actress Jessie Ward, who plays Emma Crawford on the MyNetworkTV series "Wicked Wicked Games.")

EADJ: So, Jessie, this is your second soap opera...

Jessie: Daytime drama. We prefer to call them daytime dramas.

EADJ: Okay, this is your second daytime drama. How is this one different?

Jessie: Well, it's more about character in this series. We all play over-the-top roles here, since it's a supernatural-based storyline, but there is more emphasis on building a part. I think it's fun to be big and have permission to take your acting ability and be as big as possible with it. So this is great.

EADJ: I see.

Jessie: And since this isn't based on any written work, it's up to the actors to establish and create their character from the ground up.

EADJ: Wow.

Waiter: Uh, excuse me...

Jessie: Yes?

Waiter: Hi, do you mind if we move you guys over to the next table?

Jessie: What? Why?

Waiter: Well, you are both sitting at a four-seater, and a party of four has just come in.

Jessie: (flustered) Then why did you seat us here?

EADJ: Uh, we're trying to conduct an interview here...

Waiter: We really need the space...

Jessie: You can't just seat us here and then move us over right after we got our entrees! This is ridiculous!

EADJ: So what's it like working with Tatum O'Neal?

Jessie: Why don't you just move those two little tables over to seat the four?

Waiter: But those are in two different zones, and I can't...

Jessie: I want to speak to your manager.

EADJ: (stares at notepad)

Jessie: Let me speak to your manager.

Waiter: Shit. I gotta go. (runs with other waiters onto the bar)

Group of 12 waiters on top of the bar: (singing) We go to-gether, like rama lama lama, ke ding a de dinga a dong...

Jessie: Christ. Why did you choose Ed Debevic's, anyway?