Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain The History of 'Forever' Stamps

"Ah, that's known in the United States... uh, ah... Postal Service as 'non-denominated' postage... God... On March 26, 2007, the... *gag* postal service *gag* unveiled the first such stamp... ohhh, I... which went on sale April 12, 2007 for 41 cents... AAAGGGH... ugh...the so-called "Liberty Bell" stamp, which is marked 'USA FIRST-CLASS... AH AH AH... FOREVER'. These stamps are...oh, ah, no... always sold at the current first-class postage rate... *gasp* and the... FUCK... sale of them have been popular... ah... ah... uh... uh... uh... uh...ever since. *collapses in convulsions*

Here Are Your Job Numbers For Week of July 20, 2018

From: Jesse Banfort
To: All
Sent: Tuesday, June 20, 2018
Subject: This week's job numbers

Hey there all. This is Jesse B (not Jessie D from shipping!) with this week's job numbers for your timesheet entry.

Please note that these numbers are different from last week's and that you cannot copy/paste your entries from then. Copy/paste on a work computer can compromise the security of your workstation. Please remember and thank you!


Search: LEZ PORN GIFS

Job numbers: 

474890: Wishin'

474891: Hopin'

474892: Thinkin'

474893: Prayin'

474894: Plannin'

4748905: Dreamin' his kisses to start

992368: Inviting Donna to the "gun show"

605511: Having awkward conversation with the IT guy while he de-frags your computer or whatever

023452: Trying to find a more original phrase than "poop chute"

592284: Correcting someone's "Pinky and the Brain" quote

299003: Being the badass to print out Internet recipes on COMPANY PAPER

028499: "Creating buzz" about your dick

868541: Leaving goddamned red ribbons everywhere

420499: Cutting a tight enough hole in some foam board to fuck

102271: Dividing your consolidated debt back into many small irritating debts

700989: Putting on your "good" Tevas for tonight's date