The ProofrEADJer, New Year Edition

Here Are Your Timesheets For August 29, 2019

Howdy all! Shep the window washer here. Jus' wanted to let you all know that my crew and I will be servicing all windows on the east side today, so don't get upset if we block the sunrise! That's a joke!

Anyhoo,  your CEO had asked me to remind y'all to fill out your timesheets by end of day TODAY, otherwise your company won't be able to pay you or their bills and soon I'll be peering in on a whole different set of employees! That's also a joke!

Anyways, enough horsing around. Here are the job numbers for you good people:

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44928: Making lemonade back into lemons

02124: Snitching on Shanekwa

56640: Slipping that handsome TSA agent a love note

31318: FaceTiming with the Lord

93200: Explaining to someone that you can't type "Flavortown" into the GPS

33818: Finding tights to match your sexy Foghorn Legcorn costume

59153: Getting wrapped up like a douche, another runner in the night

00382: Falling asleep in the Lincoln Memorial's lap

68385: Cursing loudly at the Hallmark Store

94661: Trying to pick out Peter Cetera in old Chicago footage

75774: Checkmating Chewbacca; getting arms torn off

Let's Meet Your Instructors!

Welcome once again to Anchorsville Continuing Education. We are so glad you've decided to spend $200 and the next few weeks with us at one or several of our unique enrichment programs! Now that you've attended the Main Orientation, let's get to meet your new instructors here at Anchorsville Continuing Education:

Enrollment is still open until November 20!

The EADJ Crappinema Presents Dragons II: Metal Ages, The Movie

Do you remember playing with your toys as a kid and thinking, "Hey, this would make a great movie?"

Well, it won't. Because chances are the storylines you'd devised with your toys were nonsensical, made up on the fly, and ultimately unwatchable to other people. Which pretty much describes "Dragons II: Metal Ages, The Movie."

The makers of Mega Bloks saw movies made for Transformers, Ninja Turtles and even coffee flavors from my break room and figured that they too could run a feature-length commercial and make a lot of money. Problem is, they didn't have a story to tell and didn't want to sink a lot of money into the "film".

The result is this poorly written, poorly animated movie from 2005 that looks like the demo reel to a computer graphics school. Like this:



The only other thing I'd like to say about this is that I didn't really feel the love for this movie from the animators, either. You'd think they would just love to render dragons and armies and fire, but I get the sense the Mega Bloks people were real pricks to the animators for some reason- like they made them bring in their own toilet paper from home or something- so the animators gave minimum effort to complete this project. Let's enjoy!













































The following is dialogue taken verbatim from this scene, although I had to rewind it half a dozen times to make out what he was saying:


"You, Draigar, will march to confront them at the Shadow Temple. Meanwhile, your Norvagen manowar fleet will sail here, round the Cape of Ryusen and down past the ancient ramparts."

So for the hell of it, I used the ironically named Dragon Dictation app on my phone to transcribe that dialogue.


This is what the Dragon Dictation app heard:

"March to confront shadow meet your goals I can Matto will see you here around the table price and down past the ancient ramparts"


































Overall grade: F