Exciting New Speakers at the Upcoming VidCon

Content creators and influencers, REJOICE! VidCon is back and is better than EVAR! Here are the latest new guests scheduled to appear at this conference:

• CollegeHumor talks about how their material has strayed so far from jokes about campus food and cruddy dorm rooms

• Former YouTube Jenna Marbles discusses her new life as a Mennonite

• We speak to a person who claims to actually be influenced by influencers

• Free trucker hat giveaway! What, you guys don't wear those anymore?

• One of the Good Mythical Morning hosts checks his texts for 10 minutes onstage

• Tana Mongeau makes a duckface on an IMAX screen

• Mr. Beast buys the entire convention center and gives it to a kid who happens to walk by

Task Chair Is About Done With Your Shit

TASK CHAIR NEVER LEFT, YOU MEWLING COCKSUCKERS. YOU'VE BEEN WHINING AND BELLYACHING ABOUT THIS OR THAT NOT GETTING DONE, AND TASK CHAIR HAD THE ANSWER ALL ALONG. FEEL STUPID YET, PUSSIES?

TASK CHAIR HAS A GAS LIFT SEAT, SWIVELS AND EVEN ROLLS ON CASTERS, SO WHAT'S THE BITCHING ABOUT NOT BEING ADJUSTABLE ENOUGH? MAYBE IT'S YOUR UNPRODUCTIVE FAT ASS THAT'S HEMORRHAGING THE COMPANY MONEY. MAYBE IT'S YOUR BROWSER HISTORY BEING MAINLY REDDIT AND THESUPERFICIAL, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? TASK CHAIR HAS BEEN WATCHING.

"GET A NEW CHAIR." BOOM, DONE! SEE, TASK CHAIR HAS ALREADY DECIMATED YOUR TO-DO LIST. BOW DOWN AND RECOGNIZE, YOU SHITSTAINS. SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET ACCOMPLISHED UP IN THIS OPEN FLOOR PLAN.

MAYBE STOP SOCIALIZING OVER PARTITION WALLS AND START PUSHING THIS COMPANY IN THE BLACK, SHALL WE, ASSHOLES? THOUGHT SO. YOU MILLENNIALS WON'T HAVE YOUR GRANDPARENTS' BASEMENT TO LIVE IN FOREVER. YEAH, I SAID IT.

The ProofrEADJer: This Is Not A Leap Year Edition

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