Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Here Are Your Job Numbers For March 27, 2019


____________________________________________________________________


From: mark.thadowik@outwardinc.net
Sent: March 27, 2019 8:40 AM
To: ALL_Company
Subject: Job Numbers For Time Sheets


Hey assholes,

Mark here. You know, the CEO of this place who employs you all. Finance tells me you fuckers aren't doing your timesheets on time, and it cocks up our billing, which prevents people from getting paid, mainly ME. So you cocksuckers better fucking get on the stick and start doing timesheets or I'm going to go down there and lay some fury on your plebeian asses, quick-like.

"But I don't have job numbers!" you whine. Well, motherfuckers, here are the job numbers now, so you have no excuse not to get cracking and do this shit.

What are you waiting for, bitches? Get your goddamned job numbers and submit that shit! FUCK YOU!

Sincerely,

Mark Thadowik
CEO, Outward Incorporated

____________________________________________________________________

022041: Defending Jack White

913106: Settling Pictionary Arguments

825915: Giving Pokey his cut

339531: Throwing something into the bad guy's helicopter so it crashes

696311: Trying to work the word "lit" into a sentence to sound cool

881480: Reading the Terms and Conditions

601664: Taking "skeez" as a compliment

523903: Conceding it's maybe not the country's best yogurt

100986: Doin' the do

737321: Squirreling away some ketchup packets for later snacks

914293: Finding your correct job number

414121: Covering "Shallow" in the bathroom stall


No comments: