EADJ Crapcade: A Crap Ad For A Crap Mobile Game

Whilst playing a crap mobile game (can't remember which one), I was interrupted by a crap ad for another crap mobile game. This one was exceptionally crappy.

As the demo was playing, I noticed something odd about some of the elements– apparently some of the layers were glitchy and/or missing. See "Layer 606.png" above.

Like, they created this crap ad and didn't even quality check it, which means the glitch still probably lives on the game itself, which means you'll see the same glitchy bullshit if you play it. If anything, this is an ad against downloading and playing the game.

No thanks, Family Island! I don't think I'll play now or ever. Good luck with your shitty renders and (probably) underpaid developers! 🖕

UAG

On We Go With Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

As Lobsterfest at Red Lobster continues, Red Lobster has recruited the help of PR giant Andrew Gall to detail the latest developments in lobster enjoyment:


Here are four new ways that you can now enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster Lobster Lobsterfest®!:

• Several lobsters appear on trays. 3 men dressed in zoot suits, but who are actually dishwashers, appear on the scene. They stand the lobsters up on their hind legs and clap their pinchers together, chanting “how’s your lobster now” in Cantonese. (The zoot suited men, not the lobsters). Just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!


• Lobsters are presented. One lucky diner is chosen at random to “bless the lobsters” by spreading a stick of butter on them. Then, everyone licks the knife, and dining commences! Just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!


• Parking attendants greet diners with, instead of a valet ticket, a lobsterticket, which is actually a valet ticket colored in red crayon and soaked in Mazola Oil. Just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!


• As you sit down with your family, a single solitary lobster is presented. You are instructed to tie your lobster bib while the person to your right holds a lobster while telling family secrets. Only he or she who holds the lobster may speak. Once the lobster is passed to you, you are allowed 10 seconds to smack the person next to you in the head with the lobster in your hand. If the lobster explodes, you are forced to leave the restaurant. If it doesn’t, your whole family gets free rolls! Just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto with a Sex Education Tip

With one hand holding onto the condom at the head of your penis, use your other hand to unroll the condom all the way to the base of the penis. Make sure it is rolled all the way down the shaft. If you're not using a pre-lubricated condom, you will probably want to add some water-based lubricant to the outside of the condom. Even if you are using a lubricated condom, using extra lubricant increases sensitivity and reduces the chance of a condom breaking.

And speaking of sex, yes, a lot of people have had sex in my town car while I was driving them. One of New York's current mayors, to name a few. Be safe, kids!