The Best Compliments You Can Expect From Your Family When You Serve Them a Really Badly Done Version of a Pan-Roasted Pear Salad Recipe

"You can really taste the pan."

"Oh, what a lovely inedible centerpiece!"

"Wow, did you core the pears AND crumble the blue cheese yourself?"

"I finished it and I'm not nauseous."

"Hey, a nickel!"

"I thought eating salad was supposed to be good for you."

"You burned the pears. I'm kidding. You ruined all of it!"

"Hello, Domino's?"