"The Magic of Cakes", My Ass

 A birthday candle display at a nearby DQ trumpets "The Magic of Cakes":

Kind of an overpromise, ya think, DQ? Cakes are great, but let's be realistic here.

• Have cakes ever significantly canceled student debt in any part of the country?

• No cakes in the past 50 years have ever de-escalated a hostage situation.

• Fish: Yummy; Fish cakes: I'll pass

• In 99.99% of marriages that have ended up failing, a cake was at the wedding.

• Firearms ballistics experts have calculated that even the thickest layer cake cannot stop a .38 bullet.

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen

*cocks gun*

"Senator, you will have two minutes for a rebuttal. But interrupt your opponent again during this debate and I'll have to shoot you in the kneecaps."

"Well, shit. I guess we should've included a lock picker and a getaway driver."

"Man, the neighborhood watch around here sucks, and I love it!"

🍆

🌮

 ❤️

🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🌮🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

😯

*there is no dialogue in this movie because of deeds, not words