The following are the New Year's resolutions that the staff of Info Wars have made for themselves for 2024:
• Drop at least 30 IQ points
• Exercise more by chasing wild geese in news stories
• Finally accept that the moon landing was faked by Hobbit ghosts instead of Pirate zombies
• Take the fake news more seriously
• Pay more attention to the racist voices in my head
• Dress more like Steve Bannon
• Get the Cybertruck tuned up
• Proofread that manifesto before making 10,000 to air drop over New York City
