Alex Jones and his talented group of writers are toiling away at providing new "news stories" to the next InfoWars broadcast. Here are the wrong-headed and completely unsourced stories they're working on:
• Elf on a Shelf dolls are equipped with micro-cameras that feed into a server that Santa shares with George Soros
• "Frosty the Snowman" is pro-abortion propaganda telling children that they can murder their own snow creations after they gave them life
• Good King Wenceslas was a real historical figure who was abducted by aliens on the Feast of Stephen
• Gift cards are devastating the traditional gift wrap, gift box and gift bag industry. Good people are dying
• The War on Christmas is an actual military engagement, located on Christmas Island being fought between Krampus Rebels and the Saint Nicholas Junta.
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