Brand: Monogram Embossed Bathroom Tissue
Label: Generic yellow stripe to tell the ladies to wipe their pee with it
Feels Like: Wearing a thong made of heated rope
Brand: Cormatic 2-Ply White Bath Tissue
Label: Reassuring script initial cap
Feels Like: Waterboarding your anus
Brand: Vantage RDA
Label: Rectangle-over-starburst-over-circle label; mysterious "RDA" acronym
Feels Like: Raspily Dabs Asshole
Brand: Quill.com Bath Tissue
Label: Odd choice.com of using a working URL in the actual product name.com; Feather in the Q
Feels Like: Wiping.com your ass.net with an actual feather.org
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