This Just In (Or Out)

The following is an IM conversation sent by an anonymous person in Chicago. The chat window was left open, and the Senior Account person and a producer here in New York could read it during a conference call in my office:

"just took the weirdest dump

you know those soy noodles!? the fettucini ones

so i am pooping ..

look down and i keep pooping but there is a section of poop connected to one of those noodles hanging out of my butt

it wouldn't come off. it was like a dog that eats hair"


So, like, guess who.