7 Terrible Substances To Masturbate With:
1) Cayenne Pepper Sauce with Capers
2) Lava Soap
3) Liquid Nitrogen
4) The tears of a martyr's widow
5) Ironically, that shampoo that makes you cum
6) A mixture of wood shavings, ball bearings and guacamole
7) Piping hot oatmeal
(pictured above, the Hater's Ball is apparently right off the 4 & 5 express lines this year)
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