Joel had been complaining about his chimp servant's low muscle tone and weak upper body strength. So he bought it a year-long membership to Shaz, the local hip gym, complete with Olympic-length pool and climbing wall area.
At first, the chimp servant resented wearing the obligatory tank top and shorts. And the treadmill buttons were too high for it to adjust the speed. But after a few weeks, it started to visit Shaz at every opportunity.
In a short period of time, the chimp servant has improved its core muscles, its oblique abs, and its endurance in the sauna. The newly-buff chimp also has been seen canoodling with Rebecca Romijn and Rebecca Gayheart. Joel has meanwhile gained 10 lbs., although his dick-eating burns tons of calories per day.
The chimp servant has recently challenged its master to a wrestling match in the Shaz parking lot. Rebecca Gayheart will be on hand to both referee the match and to run over children while driving with a cell phone. Bookies have 23 to 1 odds on Joel winning the match.
(pictured above, Andrew at one of those lunchtime Bad Film Club viewings. Can't remember which one. "Frogs?")
Announcing the "Win Lunch With David Estoye" raffle contest just a couple posts down from this one. There's 99 comments right now. Be the 100th and you're the winner! Woo hoo!!! No winner yet, so you still got a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck. And congratulations to the next (100th!!!!!!) comment poster on that post. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteYep, Frogs.
ReplyDeleteTaste my fur cup!
ReplyDelete99 comments and a bitch ain't won.
ReplyDeleteand the winner is... David Estoye. THough he posted not his name, but just the telling words "dog balls", we all know it's him! David. Congratulations! You've won lunch. With yourself. So have one on you! Take pictures of the event. Let us know how it was. But most of all, don't forget to enjoy The Spirit of The Fourth.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-n8epVdiEg
he's the winner! he's the winner! me i mo. he's the winner! estoye-riffic! estoye-great! estoye-please-don't-make-me-late! take it to the river. throw it out to see. D-A-V-I-D-space-E. He's so great. I love him lots. He's even nicer than plenty of tots. Tots who scream. Tots who shout. All about David and what he's about! David is great. David is good. David runs Joel and Joel is cool. David dates. No that's engaged to her. She's so sweet and nice. What's she doing with Curlz. What is she doing with Curlz oh my. Take it to the pharmacy and tell the doc to try to Curlz it out. Curlz it in. Curlz is great. Remember the days when. Jessica's crack told all those tales. Oh if Cracks Could Talk. That would be a good series on EADJ. Happy Fourth of July EADJ. Happy Fourth of July David Estoye. Winner! Winner of lunch!!! Winner of it all!!!!!! Tom and Vince were talking and said "David is great. David is good. David is not in the least missunderstood. He's got class. He's got panache.And today he'll be lying in the grass. Looking at the sky. Me oh my. As the fireworks go streaming by. David is good..." Yes it's great. David ate cake and birthday too! David is good. David is GREAT. David for the next post I can't wait!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThere's fireworks outside my window!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd show you a picture, but that wouldn't be fare.
ReplyDeletePictures of fireworks are always jive.
ReplyDeletejive talking mommy. listen. show me something other than andrew sleeping. boring. boring. how about phil dancing a doo-wop or better yet, wuz up with Todd Crisman's website? www.toddcrisman.com who-du-thunk-it!!!!!!
ReplyDeletechrist, man. it's rad. double-terrific fourth of julie spectacular! take it to the river. throw it off the bridge. bang bang fireworks. momma's coming home!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletedon't you have anything better to do Marshall?
ReplyDeleteyou talking to me mr. mcluhan?
ReplyDeleteMarshal Macluhan. The main man. The guy of all guys. My hero and salvation. I salivate even on vacation. Rock it baby. Rock it way up to the top! David. Happy Fourth to you and yours!!!! Can't wait to hear all about it!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteno fireworks for elmo.
ReplyDeleteeat it joel! eat it! woo hooo. happy fourth of july my ck friends!!!!!!!!!! hardy har har. lots of revelry and patriotic celebrations abound.
ReplyDeleteboblett gotta barbecue.
ReplyDeletecarstens walking the dog. cute little thing.
ReplyDeleteslotkin dreaming of paris.
ReplyDeleteestoye hitting on curlz.
ReplyDeletefoster cracking a nice one.
ReplyDeletepark watching fireworks in the dark.
ReplyDeletescharsmidt. well heaven sent!
ReplyDeleteritter. he aint no quitter.
ReplyDeletejanine. if you know what i mean... lindermouler baby cakes. lindermouler. rooooar.
ReplyDeletehappy fourth of july. the celebration has begun!!!! red rockets glare. yellow fizzles schnizzle. corona abounds. krivkovich. gotta love that sound! vodka! vodka! 4 cheers for vodka! yummy yummy in cramer krasselt TUMMY. cafe kriv is where it is. hanging out in chicken bucket RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! wireless and all. crazy. crazy. and nobody here to see!!!! vodka in the bucket! vodka in the bucket! let's all chant now: vodka in the bucket! pour it over pizza. pour it over wine. vodka in the bucket one more time!!!! happy fourth estoye!! happy fourth smart boy!!! happy finger licking chicken to you and yours!!! gotta love it. gotta love it. oh, and......interview me! interview me! it's all i ask.
ReplyDeleteand if you want me to stop with all these comments, i'll do a charity for such a patriotic day and serious as serious can be all you have to do is ask. just post something like NO MORE or what have you and it will end. goodnight davey-boy. goodnight.
ReplyDeleteso what's the word, bird?
ReplyDeleteslight correction. slight correction. just saw that either Jessica or Mel were the 100th poster, not David. apologies abound. Out of default Jessica wins the contest. Jessica, congratulations!!!! Writing "Dog balls" has won you lunch with David Estoye, on him!!! Woo hoo!!! Readers of EADJ look forward to seeing photos of the big lunch. Congratiolations. Amen. Peace be wit you my brothers ..and Todd Chrisman.
ReplyDeleteand let's make this an even 30. now that's something to come home to!
ReplyDeleteReaders of the Lost Blog.
ReplyDelete