The more things change, the more dick Joel eats.

Oh Joel.

This reporter came to L.A. and even flew out his fiancée so we could meet up with Joel and have some non-dick eating fun. Unfortunately, Joel was flying out for some out-of-town freelance action.

Missed connections. Lost opportunities. Rivers of tears.

In more lighthearted news, Mel Gibson's "Apocalyptico" took the top box office spot.

(pictured above, a snapshot Brad Harvey took of Carsten's crotch as he orders some high-falutin wine)