Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
What, this again? This fake bullshit entry where we pretend that these are actual hashtags that people have refused to use on Twitter, so then we're offering them for the reading public to use in their own insipid tweets? Yep.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Friday, November 25, 2016
Thursday, November 24, 2016
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Sorry for the email gibberish. I don't know how to remove it! This is Grace from reception, and Mr. Peterman has charged me with reminding everyone that timesheets are due by the end of this week! He says this is very important for each and every one of you to do to keep billing up to speed, and I'm sure all of you can do it! So if you need a job code for doing your timesheet today or tomorrow, just look for it on the following list, and THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
328573: Thinking up a nice, folksy analogy
572599: Arguing feebly how saying "All Lives Manner" isn't racist
238151: Relearning that Soulja Boy dance
992856: Sucking up to Ernie Hudson
611053: Rubbing one out in the supply closet
035125: Cleaning up the supply closet
247255: Making you my bitch
725595: Restructuring polling districts to favor your candidate
383833: Explaining to a novice rapper that "burying the beef" isn't a sexual thing
605112: Sucking the clear gelatin from a can of Vienna sausages through a straw
931753: Googling cheat codes for 2048
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Air was scared.
Weather map was confused.
Light fixture said, "Stop whining."
Photo Developer looked on in shock.
And Bathroom Stall Shelf just sat there like a doofus.
Monday, November 21, 2016
Friday, November 18, 2016
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Twitter can suck my ass. But if you use the damn thing, here are unpopular hashtags you can use to further pollute the Internet with your shitty opinions and widen the political divide in this faltering country:
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
If you ever go to one of those arcades where you pump in countless quarters and end up with a handful of tickets that you can use to purchase useless plastic toy crap? Well, Oriental Trading is where they get that useless plastic toy crap. The holiday catalog has added sections of crap costumes, crap decorations and crap crap.
In a room full of people with ugly sweaters, you can finally stand out from the crowd with the Ugly Sweater Party Sombero. Does it make any sense? No, but look, everyone's looking at you now, puto!
This is a demeaning Nativity costume if there ever was one. I'd rather dress up as a manger turd.
Oh good, you can now get dressed as either Mrs. Claus or Santa's mistress.
Santa A, knowing he was just "good," apparently got belligerently shitfaced before the shoot.
Sadistic hunters string deer up like this before they gut them from crotch to throat.
This stress toy is a friendly reminder that Jesus guides you and also prevents you from murdering everyone at work.