Just when we thought we'd seen every last generic brand of toilet paper, we go take a poop somewhere public and are confronted with yet another EADJ bit (or bits, since the paper is so fragile).
Brand: Green Heritage
Label: Wavy green leaves, separated by undulating white lines.
Feels Like: Wiping with somebody's old family tree chart.
Brand: Keep It Green
Label: What looks like a piece of sod, decorated with a butterfly and a FOOTBALL?!
Feels Like: Getting blitzed by linebackers in your ain-hole.
Slurp Ass Surpass
Label: Brown tobacco leaves or brown coffee beans, plus a disturbing asterix near the name (is that a drawing of an asshole?)
Feels Like: Falling off the back seat of a motorcycle in short shorts and landing on the back tire at 80mph.
Brand: Soft Touch
Label: Plain lettering over a Tiffany blue background
Feels Like: Somebody lied.